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Why I haven't blogged in awhile. #realtalk

2.29.2012

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I know it's been awhile. I took the day off from work today because I have a photography seminar in Dallas tonight which I will share more about tomorrow. For right now, I have the morning to myself...and gosh this sure is niceeeeee. (Insert Borat voice) I can't tell you the last time I felt like I had "time" to just sit and blog. My window is open, the steam on my coffee is dancing around my nose and even though the clouds are heavy this morning, and the air is damp; it almost kind of reflects the way I've felt about blogging lately.

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Clearly I need to wash my windows...

I've been away, distant, and have pretty much just SUCKED at reading and commenting. I really do have excuses, but at the same time...I want to be honest. Blogging for me lately has just been down right depressing. I feel that people have transformed so much from who they were when they first started their blogs and that it's just become a populartity contest. Blog posts are more shallow and snotty to a point, I feel. Don't worry...I don't feel this way about 95% of the blogs I follow. Hence the reason I follow. However, I do feel that people have forgot what it's like to just be REAL and to just blog for themselves.

This is actually REALLY hard for me to write. I'm not someone who likes to address or confront people or stir up any drama...so most of the time, I keep my head high and just go along with my day, and if needed, I'll vent to Andrew. I'll "brush my shoulders" off most days...but sometimes I feel like people here in blog world find it almost funny to get under your skin and indirectly try and do this. Do you feel this way? It could easily be resentment, anger, betrayal, jealousy, annoyance...and sometimes it is. However, when I don't allow those feelings to consume me...I'm left with the thought, "Seriously?" I'm mad at myself for letting little petty and catty things get to me...but I know I can't be alone when it comes to feeling this way. People are downright decieving sometimes here in this blogland. It's the truth...And you just can't allow it to get you down.

I'm a very happy person. I try to see the best in everything. You know, I see the glass half full in almost every situation. Things can get me down, but I always always find a way to get back up stronger than I was before. It's all about the way you look at things. It's an attitude I feel you have to have in order to get through life as happy as you can. You can't let people bring you down...because trust me...they will try, and they will try HARD.

My advice?

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I feel like some people are perceiving themselves in a certain light here on the world wide web because THEY CAN. They can pretty much tell you what they want, show you what they want, and you are victim to wanting to read more and more about a life that they want you to think they have. It's powerful for them. But I think this is just a sore subject for me for a reason I will not pronounce here on this blog. I'm just going to continue to DO ME. That's all I can do is just be the best version of myself that I can be and stop analyzing small, petty things. Life is too short.

Writing to me is fun. I'm no professional, obviously. I acutally don't try to write like an English major because well, I'm not an English major haha. Most of the time I have typo's and I don't proof read my posts. (Sorry to all of you who get annoyed by this.) But y'all, I'm NOT perfect. Hell, I don't have the TIME to make this blog perfect. Or the money to make it perfect. I'm busting my ass to put food in my pantry right now and gas in my tank...No joke. I work for my money and NOTHING is EVER handed to me on a silver platter. EVER. AND I am proud of that because everything that I've worked for, slaved for, sacraficed for...has all been because I WORKED HARD. I DID IT. And nobody else.

I just feel like the internet is kind of funny and today I just felt like expressing this...ya feel me?

I've had lots to share with y'all. Purchases, Business ventures, Real life woes and WHOAS...and well, I just haven't shared them...yet I don't really know why...but I think I was just in a place where I needed a break.

Time has flown lately, and I feel terrible for neglecting this blog. I wish I had the time to devote to it, but I'm working near 70-80 hours a week...And that my friends, is NO.LIE. I've been going to bed at 2, 3, and 4 in the morning and then getting up at 7 to work from 8 to 5, just to come home, eat, and work until the wee hours in the morning. Guys, I'm exhausted.

The good news is...I know that 95% of you are who you say you are. The relationships I've made through this blog have been nothing short of wonderful and I honestly don't even know what I'd do without the support so many of you generously offer. It's unreal how supportive this blogging community is, and that's why I refuse to quit.

Besides, I blog for me. That's something I will always do. I promise you that. One thing I've decided is that I'm going to let you in a little more into my life. The more REAL side. The deck of cards my life has been delt here lately. It's kind of crazy...but I think it could help you relate to me and well...I want to be honest. And REAL. Just wait...I'll address this very soon.

I've received random e-mails and messages from sweet "strangers" and to those few people...you guys have made my days so much brighter. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write me and tell me you appreciate me and this blog. You will never know how thankful I am to have received those e-mails. It really warmed and touched my heart.

This is a random out of the blue post for me, I know. I'm behind and this is just something I felt like addressing today. My life lately has been so crazy... I can't wait to share it with you...even though I'm months late to the party.

Thank you guys who have stayed real on your blogs. It's refreshing to read...and it's something that has made me feel like I'm back at home.

I love you guys...and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. When I read your tweets, and blogs (when time allows) I just want to reach through the screen and hug all of you. I really mean that.

Cheers to being back. I can't wait to catch up.

Xoxoxo.

post circle 51 comments :

  1. I love this post!!! I've missed your witty posts, funny pictures and bright outlook on life! :) I completely agree that there's been some "snotty" behavior on the blogs. It makes me sad, because the blogging community should be a comforting, welcoming space, instead of a popularity contest! Thanks for keeping it real, and I look forward to having you back! :)

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  2. This is a great post. I have only been blogging for a few months and I have already read some catty comments like you are talking about on a blog I follow. I like the blogger, it's the other followers comments that I cannot get over. I know that everyone has their own opinion and they are entitled to it, but their comments were more than just stating their opinion. It was mean and could be hurtful. I am a newer follower of yours and I really hope you continue your blog! I'm pretty sure I have read every post of yours and I can't wait to read more and see what you have been up to! Thanks for being real!

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  3. I loved reading your honesty. I have definitely felt similar things towards various blogs...they have transformed into something that I don't care to be a part of - so I leave it, which is always a sad decision to make. I feel like you should walk away with SOMETHING after reading a blog whether it is thoughtful, funny, comforting, etc but the snottiness, it seems, is starting to get a little out of hand. I'm so thankful for the honest bloggers =)

    Welcome back to the blogging world - sometimes the rest of life really does get in the way and something has to give. =)

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  4. AMEN!!! keep it real girlfriend

    all of this is so true and at the end of the day, those who blog for themselves is the reason i keep typing in blogger.com

    ive missed your posts but THANK GODDD we talk every day! dont know what id do without you baby G!

    muah!
    xoxox

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  5. Always love your outlook on things and honesty as well! I myself can't fathom putting the hilarious photos you put up on your blog.. One because I don't think I'm funny but two I can't make as good faces as you.

    Bloggy breaks are fine! I was gone a month too.. And yes everything is popularity contest these days it seems..

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  6. I just love you to pieces Shay! God has truly been working in our lives to the point that some things and some people don't matter. I feel like the blogging world should be inspiring, motivating and a place to share lifes adventures and struggles at times. I am so proud of you for sharing this and being real. This post for me is one that many people should read and not just for the blogging world but for everyday life, sometimes we as people try to be something we are not, based off of other peoples lives and what they are doing. Life should be about finding our passion and purpose and doing it in away that allows us to completely be ourselves. Thanks for sharing this! WE have to continue too learn to Let GO and Let GOD!!

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  7. Preach it! ;) What you're describing is just like FB (which I'm no longer on). People tend to show the side they want people to see. Human nature. I prefer real life. I think you've always been real. I miss your crazy posts. Glad to have you back.

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  8. Though I have definitely missed you on here, I get a smidgen of you on Twitter and Instagram and I guess I'm okay with that. ;)

    Just don't feel so pressured to blog. That's what I've had to tell myself lately. Sure-it'd be cool to have some really big, huge, popular blog but for what? I'd rather spend quality time with friends and family and sure, if I have the time, I'd love to be blogging too but you know what, life is more important. It really is.

    I loved this post, Shalyn. So so very true. I'm sad to know that some people are blogging for all the wrong reasons...and have experienced a couple for myself, too. I guess it's their loss...

    Sounds like you have a whole-lotta-awesomeness going on right about now and I'm anxious to hear about it all. Maybe you could teach your fur children to type so you could be editing pics while they blog for you? Hey....there's a genius idea! ;) xoxo

    PS-and the award for THE longest comment ever goes to.............

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  9. I just want you to know that you are one of tr first blogs I found and that is what inspired me to start. I'm so happy I started blogging but I see the side of it you are talking about. It gets a little tiring reading posts about how many followers people need to get to a certain number and reading posts about people trying to get more and more sponsors. I totally get how that is a great thing but I feel like people should blog for themselves. Not for big numbers and sponsors. I'm so glad you are back and I can't wait to hear all your updates.

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  10. Glad to see you back on here! I've enjoyed following along for a few months now and appreciate the way you write and what you write about!

    The internet just gives people the power to "act" like anyone they want and sometimes it gets to me, but most of the time I just try to remember that those people probably have so many insecurities that we truly should feel bad for them. Keep YOUR head high girl, because you are beautiful, real and awesome! :)

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  11. Shay, I've been feeling disconnected lately, so I haven't blogged much lately. I just felt like I got away from who I am. I have missed you, and I can't wait to catch up on your life!

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  12. I think this is awesome I totes get your drift! I am one who feels a little need to portray a little bit of my "meaner" side just for waht? to get more people to follow me? and what does that do? I am not getting anything fancy out of it and the few that I ahve connected with..i.e. you and you know who else I really do feel like I know you guys and your not just some blog out in blogland.

    Real feelings, real problems, real stories.

    I think you said this perfectly and I have an urge to pass it one to one wee little bitty blogger that needs to pull her head out of her bum and be nice!

    Love you girl! thinkgs will get better and no worries on the lovies, we all still love you anyways!

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  13. To start, it took me longer to read your post than anticipated. Why? I spilled diet coke all over my crotch. Yes, it looks like I peed myself lol. Make you giggle yet?

    Anywho, let's start by saying this post is awesome. Not in the awesome like "Omg! Totally awesome." but in the sense that you're "just doing you" even if that means calling out the people who aren't doing them. Does that even make sense? Whether it does or doesn't, I'm proud of you. I miss your posts that make me giggle, but I respect your lack of blogging. You're not doing filler posts just to blog. And THAT is what blogging should be about. Right? Right. So now that I've written an essay here, sending you lovin'!

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  14. Oh my heck, YOU HAVE GOTTEN SO GOOD AT PHOTOGRAPHY! I remember when you first got your camera, now look at you! Even when you don't have the time to write a post, you should at least just post a picture or two for us to see! Plus I think "personal" pics like that are so cool.

    Also I love that you spelled "typo's" with an apostrophe while talking about how many typos you make ;) too funny!

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  15. Hey Shay - I've been reading your blog for a while now, I just never took the time to comment. Sorry about that! :)

    I felt like now was a good time, since I really understand where you're coming from. Sometimes reading blogs just makes you feel all over crappy - it's only fun for a second when you repeatedly read about a woman's -perfect/has to be fake or I'm just crazy- life.

    I hope you continue you blogging because there are not too many real blogs out there!

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  16. Oh how I adore you! my little photographer, workerbee! And yes there is something so powerful about working hard and earning things on your own, not from parents or spouses. And you are so right, I started my blog for ME! and I blog about what makes me happy. And yesterday it was a lollipop, and well, that might make people look at me strangely, but… well I like lollipops! I’m 26 and I like lollipops and I want to blog about it! and the beauty of having your own blog, is you can! So happy you are back. And also that you instagram because I feel like you pretty much never left :)

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  17. Great post! It is soo true. Some people are not blogging to document thier lives, but to "build a blog". I guess that is why I can look at my followers and see that I have them, but really how many people of those few "matter" or "make a difference" in my life? I am not blogging to keep them reading (but I don't care) Those that take the time to read and comment on my blog, I am grateful and thankful for them, as they always have kind words. Are there some things in my life that I don't bring up on the blog? Of course, but it is more because I am not ready to share. I'm sorry blogging has taken a turn in the wrong direction for you, but I hope that it corrects itself, because I love reading your blog! I also hope that everything is going okay in your life, because even though I don't know you, I still care ;)

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  18. love this. your honesty, realness, and for expressing what a lot of us probably feel and think in the day to day. I have moments where i want to just stop it all..and then i get a random care package from a blogger, or a kind comment, and remember why i do this..why i love it..but there are definitely those moments where i feel beat down by others out there, discouraged, annoyed, hurt...i think its normal..anyway, dont know what im trying to say other then i heart you :)

    xxx

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  19. love you love you love you.

    I knew this would be a good post, and you addressed everything perfectly just like I knew you would! :) I think you are awesome, and at the end of the day the internet is just that----- its not real life. I mean, anyone can make themselves out to be anything and we never really know the truth. I will continue to blog to just document j and I's time traveling and our lives... and when it stops being fun, I will quit too!

    praying for your big decisions coming up! I really hope we move out that way so I can be your third shooter/aka: carry around your bag for you and DDHP :) and our furbabes can play together. I have big plans :)

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  20. It's nice to hear someone be honest about the fact that there ARE a lot of bloggers out there that claim to be honest, but put on a facade to get followers. That was the first thing I noticed when I started reading blogs. I was inspired by a few readers to start my own, but I choose to keep it private because I write for myself...not to see how many people I can get to comment on my posts like many people do. I commend you for speaking up about this and admire your work ethic, devotion to your jobs and blogging for yourself.

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  21. Oh shalyn! I am so happy to hear from you. I have definitely missed your blog posts!! Don't disappear like that again, ok?
    I have to know, am I one of those bloggers?? That 5%? Honestly. Tell it to me straight. Haha!

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  22. I feel the same way. I find blogging to be fun, but yet frustrating. It seems like there are bloggers who just want to cause drama, even about stuff that isn't controversial. Bloggers can be so negative and judgmental. There were bloggers mad about people posting about Valentine's Day. I mean, it is their blog. I think some took it as bragging. I would like to think people would not intentionally put others down. However, I've seen bloggers tweet or blog things, and that HAS to be their intention, because they end up pissing people off. I'll never understand drama, especially over the internet. I thought blogging was supposed to be about fun, building relationships, inspiring others, etc.

    I've noticed it is all a numbers game. I would love to have over 1000 followers, and love to have people care what I say. It is disheartening when a person has half my followers and gets 3x the number of comments. I have seen other bloggers literally blog about "nothing." "Nothing" as in not posting anything real and posting pictures and whatever found on the internet ALL THE TIME. Once in awhile, it's okay, but I want to know the blogger. Not what they think is going to be the popular trend. I thought maybe I should become like those bloggers, but it isn't me. Since blogging has become such a popularity contest, I feel left in the dust. Even though, it pisses me off a lot of the time, I still stay true to myself, and blog about me.

    I use my blog to document mine and hubby's lives. If I have to get free stuff, cool. If I don't, cool. It's just a perk. Blogging can be so fun, but yet make you feel invisible when "no one" seems to notice.

    Now, I think I am babbling... but I also think.. just stay true to yourself. I absolutely love your blog, and have read the entire thing. I can't wait to hear more about what's going on new in your life :)

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  23. This was an amazing post! I just read through everyone's comments thus far, and wow, everyone relates to what you're saying. Isn't that amazing? Good for you for using your voice wisely and for touching so many people positively!!!

    I can't tell who's being fake and who's being real in their blogs. Maybe I'm a dumby. But I can ALWAYS tell who's being mean, petty and/or argumentative. There seems to be one particular blogger who a lot of people have had issues with. I just don't get why people are so abrasive on the internet. I mean, isn't this a place for us to all express ourselves drama free. Some people just always seem to want to "play devils advocate" or start an argument. I'll never understand that. I get enough of that in my "real" life, hahaha!!! :)

    Good on you for taking a break and for coming back to blogging at your own pace. Please know how missed you are!

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  24. Amen sister! I did the same thing not too long ago. When I start to find myself being jealous of others' blogs and followers and who they present themselves to be, I remind myself that I started blogging to journal my life, and I will blog about things that are important to me. No sponsors, no giveaways, no follower-whoring, nothing. I just DO ME. So keep doing you. Can't wait to read about what you have going on. Your beautiful photos and loving relationship and awesome personality are what keep me reading.

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  25. I love your blog and I love you!

    There are so many bloggers who do exactly what youre talking about and then there are ones who post photos of their disgusting fever blisters on the internet just to let the world know that its SUCKS ASS to wake up with that shit on your face! haha!

    I chose to stay real to me and SO many others dont. But thats for them to deal with! You just keep doing you sweetheart! I promise itll make you the happiest!!

    PS Im doing the MS150 so I better see you at the finish line holding a sign with my name on it!!! hahahah! I kid, but I really would love to meet you!!!

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  26. I can totally relate to this, Shay! Sometimes I find myself getting really pissed when I read blogs because they are SOOO cynical but I never say anything either.

    And sometimes I find myself wondering why I don't have a million followers and what I'm doing wrong that everyone else is doing right. Sometimes I consider writing for people instead of me. And then I remember why I started this anyway - for me.

    It's good to know some people still appreciate the real stuff :)

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  27. i think taking a bit of a break was good if you needed it, but i'm glad you're back, i've always loved reading your posts, seeing all your great adventures and watching you be silly!

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  28. I completely understand where you are coming from. In fact, I try to keep my blog, really brutally honest. Because for me, it is like an online journal. And I am so far away from perfect, I know it helps others to read, oh hey she struggles too! And just like in real life, there are going to be some straight up snotty bloggers out there. Sucks ya know? I'm fortunate not to have come across to many of them. I just try to hold my head high and use my blog for what I wanted it to be. I platform to share my faith, my love of jesus, and my good times and bad times. love your blog shay!!

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  29. oh, miss shay! you seriously are awesome! no joke. i love the fact that you are sooo real, happy, funny and positive! i love when i see a new post from your blog! your post and videos on FB often make my laugh extremely hard! no lie, i def envy the friendships you've formed from blogging (not in a mean-girl jealous kinda way) but its just soooo cool and inspiring to see the positive that comes from blog world. i totally agree about blogs taking extreme turns from how they began to now. i blog for me and if people read and comment...cool. if not, oh well. at the end of the day i started my blog for me, but i'm sooo thankful people actually read and comment - its funny to connect with complete strangers. :)

    thank you, for being you!

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  30. Happy you are back to blogging! I have always enjoyed reading your stories :o)

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  31. Girl. You're saying what I'm feeling. I oftentimes feel like the blogging world is this big popularity contest that I'm seriously losing. And I can really get myself down on that. But honestly, I have more fun writing and creating posts that I love, even if people don't always comment on those posts. That's what blogging is about, making something you're proud of and love. And I'm so glad you addressed this today :)

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  32. Shayln I have missed your witty, optimistic self on this blog. I am so glad you took a break and are now ready to come back at your own pace. A lot of ppl have been blogging about all the meanness and cattyness and I think its just sad. Thank you for such a real and personal post. I cant wait to hear about your life and the real Shay! Super excited for all your new adventures!

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  33. Shayln I have missed your witty, optimistic self on this blog. I am so glad you took a break and are now ready to come back at your own pace. A lot of ppl have been blogging about all the meanness and cattyness and I think its just sad. Thank you for such a real and personal post. I cant wait to hear about your life and the real Shay! Super excited for all your new adventures!

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  35. i always enjoyed your blog and you keep it pretty real on here. i mean you posted that you love to make crazy faces and take pictures and you actually post them! how can you get more real?!?

    glad to see you are taking a break if you need it. you deserve it. good luck with the photography career! you take beautiful photos. you are definitely going places!

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  36. I LOVE this post! I agree with everything you said!

    Honestly, you completely deserve to take a break. You've ween working so hard (from what it sounds like). Just glad everything is going well!

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  37. 100% agree. 100% missed you. 1,000% sure we'll meet soon.

    Your pics are gorgeous!!!! Love the pic of your laptop with the mug and mouse. Beautiful.

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  38. I'm with you girl! It's hard not to get caught up in the competitiveness of it all. I'm trying to focus on really blogging for me and making it about what really matters. Glad to hear others are going through the same struggle. Love reading your REAL blog :)

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  39. I'm with you girl! It's hard not to get caught up in the competitiveness of it all. I'm trying to focus on really blogging for me and making it about what really matters. Glad to hear others are going through the same struggle. Love reading your REAL blog :)

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  40. I definitely agree with you. I have been away from my blog for a few weeks now as well and honestly it has been in part due to the fact that I have been so busy but also due to a lot of these things that you mentioned.

    xoxo
    Petchie
    http://itsallofthelittlethings.blogspot.com/

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  41. This is the second post tonight that has addressed some of the same thoughts. I adore you and your blog even if I don't comment often!! I totally agree that blogging can seem like a popularity contest of the haves and have nots, you know what that's when I stop reading those blogs because I realize it's not what I need, it doesn't make me a better person and it's a waste of my time and energy to feel like I'm competing. For me blogging is about taking time to reflect on the wonderful in my life, because TRUST me there is plenty to complain about feel frustrated about or stress over. Blogging should be an outlet and I love blogs like yours the good and the bad, the funny and the serious. Thank you for being you and for writing this post.

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  42. A-freaking-men. I feel the same way abou the blogging community... I've been in a funk really since the beginning of the year and haven't posted much, or read and commented much. Sometimes you just need to take a break and live your REAL life.

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  43. you're back!! those of us that follow you are thrilled. do you know the first post that you wrote that i read? and fell in love?

    your "ugly faces" post. if i became obsessed because you were bing oh-so-real then, why oh why would i be upset at you being real now??

    ever since that post, i've been wanting to read more. i came along RIGHT as you were taking your break. and i must say, i'm relieved to know that you'll be spreading your shayness once more!

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  44. Oh girl, I feel you. I really pray I'm not one of these blogs that lets you down...I promise I am who I am on my blog ;) Anyways, love your blog and you. just wanted you to know!!

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  45. i just felt like commenting again to make ya smile

    remember that time you posed for a picture with a piece of lettuce on your face from my salad and then didnt realize it was COVERED in dressing? hahah!! i have that picture

    HAHAHA i literally laugh everytime i think of that and its just one of the 10000000 reasons why i think you are amazing <3

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  46. I have been following your blog for awhile now and absolutely love it.

    I adore this post. So honest and REAL.

    Thank you for your well written words :)

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  47. I'm actually in the middle of a blogging silence because I'm wrestling with this, too. I believe authenticity is essential - essential seems too small a word, though - to living life to its full abundance as He promises. So I'm taking this silence to ponder how to blog authentically, too - really authentically - while still writing interestingly and engagingly. And I'm interested in seeing how you navigate forging the balance between the two as you keep blogging from here.

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  48. I know what you mean about blogging becoming a popularity content. It definitely has, and it's really sad.

    I know my blog is never going to be huge, so I've kind of given up on that side of things. I just write about whatever I want to write about, and, strangely, I enjoy it more, and even more strangely...people still read! :)

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  49. shay i LOVED this post. it is so so true!! i definitely have missed your posts but so glad we get to texty text most days!! :)

    happy tuesday night schmuffin!!!

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  50. I must say that this post is not only amazing but one of the best I've ever read. So raw and so...well I can't think of the word but it really was something I feel a lot of people want to say but don't. Everyone needs a break from blogging and I think you are so right when the most important part is being true to yourself. At the end of the day that is all that matters. I love your blog to death and always look forward to reading it. It always always always makes me smile. I must say I did miss you and hope your work lets you have a little shay time soon!
    Loves ya!

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  51. I really like this post. Sadly, it is true, but I think being able to recognize it and move forward is a really good thing, it sort of reminds me of high school drama and some people are never able to grow past it. Be thankful that you can get past it :)

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