What up, gangstaaaa?
Ok sorry. Now that I have that out of my system, allow me to introduce myself. I'm Rissy from Carissa Explains It All, and I happen to think Shalyn is one of the sweetest people I have ever (not) met. Which is why when she asked me to guest post, I jumped up and down. (and then forgot about it... and had to be reminded two days ago... oopsies).
So here we are...
And instead of telling you a bit about myself, I thought I'd tell you a bit about some strangers.
You see, I work in a retail store. I deal with the general public every day. And my oh my how interesting it is. So without further ado let's meet some characters.
I Think I'm Someone Even Though No One Else Does Lady: I had the pleasure of being at the registers on a day the store was giving away a free beach towel to every customer who spent at least $75. And by every customer, I mean the first 23 customers.... because that's how many towels corporate sent us. And poor us. Who knew people would go so wild over a beach towel.... A little after noon that day we were out of towels and searching for a plan to appease customers who came in specifically for that rectangular piece of fabric. Solution: customer service will send you a towel after you contact them... oh but it's going to take 4-6 weeks. : /
By the near end of the evening I was so used to the "call customer service for your towel" shpeal, I was practically immune to people's reactions. Then a lady hit me with this "well when they see my last name, they'll send it faster."
***Crickets***
I'm sorry guys, but I live in a town that has a lot of farms... in Western, MD. People in our town and mall dress and behave in a way that can only be described as redneck WAYY too often. I have a feeling if there were someone living here that would make a large corporation take notice, we'd all know about it.
Her uhhh confidence? truly blew. my. mind.
I Think I'll Take to The Cashier While My Girlfriend Steps Away Guy: Let me preface this by saying, I had seen this guy with his girlfriend in the store way before they stepped up to the register. And he was explaining to her that the item she wanted to purchase would in fact NOT be 19.99 after tax... because tax adds 5 cents to every dollar... so that would make it.... (when he started doing the math I really had to walk away). I assume they figured out the price and counted their nickels and dimes, because the couple eventually made it to the counter. Then the girl stepped away... and her boyfriend decided to start talking to another cashier about his shopping habits. "Well I can buy 10 muscle t's for the price she's getting just one thing for... and I just bought a muscle t but they forgot to give me the muscles."
***Crickets***
Really guy? Really, you just said that???
I'm going to be honest with you guys... the two girls I was helping and I started laughing... loudly... and a little uncontrollably... one girl actually had to step away. It was that awkward/awesome.
Where Are Your Parents "Customers"- On Friday nights, the mall I work in becomes a playground... for unattended teeny boppers. They really like to come into our store and show their age. I have a tendency to ignore them, walk away, or discuss how their parents allowed them to leave the house wearing that with other employees. My manager however tries to get them to leave by asking them if they need help. I know it sounds odd, but the last thing these kids want is attention from a store employee. So one Friday night, a group of girls is giggling their way through the store, and my manager approaches.
"hi ladies, what can I help you shop for?"
"uhh we're just looking.."
"well did you see what you're looking at is 5 for $25?"
"oh well we don't have any money"
.....
Seriously... can we kick people out if they say that sentence? I really think we should be able to.
Those are all the stories I'll share for now, but believe me I have more.
In fact, I come into contact with a new character every single day.
It can be truly entertaining.
I hope you were all as amused as I am by these stories.
And if you were, I have a very similar post over on my own blog. : )
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Love you Rissy! Thank you so much for helping a sista out! ;)
haha! rissy sometimes I just want to follow you all day because you have the best stories
ReplyDeleteas far as the woman who thinks people know who she is, last new years eve a group of us went to a club. Kurt got so drunk that he ended up puking in the club...he got escorted out (no one could find him because he puked in secrecy lol) turns out, he threw his phone on the ground and screamed at the bouncer to let him back in and said "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??"
yes kurt, you're an IT tech nerd..you're no one famous.
sadly, i was one of those teeny bopper girls moseying around the mall on a Friday night lol but now I loathe them just as much as you
and that muscle guy? no words. dying laughing lol
waddup gangsta
hahaha Erica I love you for reading this book I wrote...
ReplyDeleteMuffin- hope your vacay is the bestest ever!
Oh my goodness. hahaha! Hilarious!! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! I love Rissy and I am now in love with this blog!! Count me in as a new follower!
ReplyDeleteLoving these guest posts! Already obsessed with miss Rissy, obviously ;)
ReplyDeleteYup Rissy, I love you even more. It's true. Also I'm semi jealous that you and rissy text. I want in on this!!
ReplyDeleteSabrina Says
This is hilarious. YOU are hilarious! I esp love the "Where are your parents customers". Gosh, that was all the rage when I was in middle school to go "be cool and be seen" at the mall. Ick!
ReplyDeleteWow Rissy, props to you for putting up with those customers. I would have quit after the muscle shirt incident, ha
ReplyDelete