Last weekend on my drive home from a wedding with Drew, I found myself on my phone any minute that there was "nothing to do." Being a passenger in the car, I believe you can all agree with me, that it's just an instinct and so "natural" to do this. Let's face it...it's an ugly habit and you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you don't do this. Well, if you're a guy...you're probably least likely to have this, but I bet there are some of you that will nod and agree with me in just a minute. I started to notice this instinct a long time ago, especially since I started blogging, instagramming, facebooking, and being more active in social media. I'm on twitter, but I can honestly say that I am not on it daily. I don't know why, but it isn't something I think, "OH I need to check that right now!" Some days I do, and some days I don't. Anyway, to get back to business...I will say that I HAVE made improvements...however, I can't stop THINKING about it. WHY is it so hard for me to just put my phone away and not feel like I'm missing something? It's just stupid and sick, really. I should just put my phone down, and just listen to the music and just watch the road with Drew and engage in conversation...like the we used to do back before social media took over our lives. But then, I found myself reaching over to grab my phone yet again. Then I'd put it down and say, "GOSH, why do I do this all the time!? I am so annoyed with myself!"
Ironically enough, when I had this thought I saw a link that was posted by a guy I went to college with on my Facebook feed. He is now a news anchor in Austin, and posts some interesting articles from time to time. When I read it, I couldn't help but think, "OH MY GOSH. I HAVE THIS!" It was just crazy to read, and I thought I'd share the article with y'all.
This is word for word from the link that he posted. I repeat, I did not write this (I wish) but it is SO worth sharing. You can also find the article
here.
"Social media has captivated the lives of millions of individuals around the world. Although the convenience and other advantages it offers are worth the time you put in the internet each day, there are also drawbacks to watch out for.
Social media anxiety disorder is one of the problems that can arise if you allow social media to dominate many aspects of your life. In fact, it can go so bad that you develop an addiction, which eventually results in mental problems.
You need to create a proper balance to adequately attend to your needs, as well as have a healthy routine outside the internet.
Signs That You Might Have SMAD
1. You’re inseparable from your mobile phone or device.
Many people today cannot spend more than 30 minutes away from their smart phone or tablet. They constantly check their mobile devices or simply play social media site games when there’s nothing else to do just to use social media. You might find yourself bringing the device with you in the bathroom, the dining table or in other unusual places.
2. You constantly post or send messages.
Some individuals are
constantly tweeting, posting messages and chatting with others online. They send shout-outs constantly just for the sake of posting. They also get worried if they haven’t posted anything in the past 3 to 6 hours. And you don’t have to tweet about everywhere you are and whatever you eat.
3. You get upset over lost followers or online friends.
If you constantly monitor how many people are following you each day and then get overly excited if someone adds or follows you, you might have social media anxiety disorder. Worse, you might get depressed when you discover that someone chose to
unfriend or unfollow you online.
4. Constantly checking for updates.
Getting updates is a good thing on social media. However, if you constantly log in your account every 5 to 10 minutes just to check if someone has responded or liked your post, you might be suffering from SMAD.
5. Failing relationships.
Some people are too engrossed with social media that they no longer have time to fulfill other obligations and promises. You might be leaving out important people in your life in exchange for social media time. Some individuals have experienced breaking up with their boyfriend or girlfriend because they no longer have time for the relationship.
6. Spending too much time.
You might have social media anxiety disorder if you’ve been sitting in front of the computer for several hours and no longer remember if you have eaten lunch or taken a bath. You might have a problem if you forgot what else you need to do for the day after spending too much time online.
7. The outdoors doesn’t matter.
Even if you’re out at the beach with family, taking a hike in the forest or taking a run at the park and you constantly stop to check on your mobile phone or device every now and then, you might have SMAD. You should learn how to balance non-internet activities with your social media time.
8. Fear of logging in after a long break.
Some individuals are scared of opening their accounts after they’ve been out for several hours or a day. They fear that there will be too many messages and posts to reply to and items to upload or update.
Social media anxiety disorder may seem silly at first; but when someone you know starts showing signs of a severe problem, it is no longer a laughing matter. It is possible for an individual to get hooked on his or her social accounts so much that any form of face-to-face interaction becomes painful. Seek professional help right away."
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Crazy right!? Well, not really. It actually makes me scratch my head and go "WHOA! It's actually a real thing!" Sadly, a lot of these apply to me. I hate it. I won't lie. But sometimes the truth hurts.
I'd like to know, do any of these apply to you!?
I am going to continue to make an effort to work on these things. I started making small changes a couple of months ago, and I will say that I am better at putting my phone in the other room for a couple of hours at a time so I can get work done, and surprisingly this has helped a lot.
I love it when I get a text that says, "Shay! I know that phone is glued to your hand! Write me back!" And then I get to actually surprise them and say, "Actually...Now that I am self-employed, I HAVE to put my phone in a drawer, or in the other room for hours at a time so I can train myself and GET WORK DONE lol." Naturally, they are proud of me most of the time. But, sadly, I can see why some people are annoyed when I don't respond right away, because that's how I used to be. I just can't be glued to my phone anymore though y'all. It's a lot of work. It stresses me out. My phone OWNED me (and some days, it still does!) and I am just missing out on the life that is RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. It's crazy to type this out, but it's so important that I be in the moment more. LISTEN to those who are talking to me. Not scroll through my phone and only hear half of what someone says to me.
I don't know how many times Drew will start talking to me and I'll be staring at my phone. He will say, "So today this happened and then this guy wanted to know if we could help him tomorrow night...and I told him I'd ask you..."
Cricket. Cricket. I'd nodd my head and he'd say, "So it's okay if I move to Africa for 10 months!" JUST to get my attention.
Man had a point. I'd look at him and go, "I'm sorry babe! I'm listening!"
Then he'd test me and I'd say, "Yeah, we are not moving to Africa!" Drew would then either laugh, or just be plain annoyed and said, "THAT had nothing to do with anything I said. I just wanted to get your attention..."
Then I'd say I'm sorry again, put my phone down, and listen. That is NOT okay. NOT okay. As Michelle Tanner would say..."HOW RUDE!" My husband, my family, my friends...they deserve my attention if they want it. My phone can wait. That text message can wait. I don't know how many times I would say, "Sorry babe! Let me just write her back real quick and I'll put the phone down!"
It's selfish. It's silly. It needs/has to change.
I have also found that I have had to set boundaries with my phone when it comes to business. I have to pretend that when it comes 5:00 (closing time), that I am no longer at my desk. I am no longer on the phone. I have shut down and gone home just like everyone else gets to do. If I didn't do this, then I would be working, ALL. THE. TIME. and it isn't healthy. Trust me, I've been there, done that...and I was proof of the word, "EXHAUSTED. DRAINED. WOOF!" No joke. I have to have "off" time or I will get burned out again and hello, I'm human. I need time at home, cooking dinner, hanging out with my husband just like everyone else. Right!? ;)
Anyway, I encourage you to start being more in the moment. Get away from your phone more. I promise that we can do it y'all! :) It's hard, I get it. It's a work in progress, but I am starting to feel like I have LESS of these symptoms above. We aren't going to miss anything, I promise you.
I am going to start trying to only check my e-mails twice a day. I am going to only log-on to social media 3 times a day, knock out my likes, my love, my comments, my support, all that jazz at set times. The other day I counted how many times I opened my phone to browse social media...and I am embarrassed. SO embarrassed. Are you ready for this?
52.
THAT is ridiculous. I wanted to bang my head on a desk. I will say, that this isn't the case every day...really, it isn't. BUT, when I have my phone near me, and I hear a "ding" or just have a minute to look...I do. SELF control people. SELF control.
Who wants to be my accountability partner with this!? Anyone? Anyone!? :)
Obviously, I'm ALL for documenting things...but once you do. PUT it down for a bit. Go enjoy the moment.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the article as much as I did. Start being aware TODAY! Start making changes. Life is fun y'all...go out and live it!
:)
